Typically when i see something magnificent; i cant get the picture. It never fails; the critter gets away.
Yesterday i was walking home from walmart and this fellah landed on the trash pale beside me and i stopped and said hello. He was a big fellah and healthy looking moth. It just stood thier for a good minute before i said " would you let me take a photo?". I fumbled with pulling out my phone, putting in the pin and searching for the camera. But i didn't need to; this one wasn't going anywhere. I slowly stepped closer and it did very little then to turn around and straighten it's lovely broad wings. I thank gods i got a couple good pictures of this magnifisense. It was like he was meant to be their and wanted my attention and me to take photos.
The symbolic meaning of a moth is adaption, vulnerability, death, transformation, and afterlife.
What some of you know is that this is my favorite season, my favorite holidays, my favorite time to be my self.
What you don't know is how hard it is some times to keep a smile.
Six or seven years ago and for nineteen years; the most wonderful cat in my life existed. We found him and his syblings tied up in the lot next door; they had been cruely puting out into the yard with a hockey stick because my cat scratch the eyes out of a snake.
His syblings found homes but because his fur was course and ratty looking; no one wanted him. So he climbed out of the enclosure and ran into my brother's room and choose to be ours. His name became kingsley.
Now king was cuddly, slumbered alot and loved to go outside. But he was my first baby and i loved him. He was everything to me. My confident, my friend, my cuddle buddy, my sleeping partner, my explorer, my amazingly patient sweet tempered cat. He was always in my room on my bed or on my desk. He was like a dog and waited at the window for me to return from school. In fact it is hard to write about this and tears not well in my eyes.
I was eighteen and my father yelled at me for not doing everything he said and i felt trapped. He told me that famous "this is my house; this is my rules. Do it or get the fuck out!" And right their in my life i was at the edge from multiple things going on. As soon as he left room, i opened the closet and i had a noose around my neck. I felt useless and that it was pointless to live. What was holding me here; who really cared? Who did.. Not my parents.. Not my brother.. Not my cousin.. Not my grand parents.. Not my... My cat cares.. My cat would wonder the house looking for me.. My cat would ultimately die of heartache because of me.. I dont want him to die.. I love him..
That's what i though and yes, that is how much he meant to me. My cat saved my life.
We never knew his birthday because we found him; so he was always my halloweenie kitty. Every year we would get a can of sheeba, catnip and a toy. I miss him so much even now.
Just as i moved here to michigan; he passed away. But i predicted he would pass when he lost weight.
So what does this have to do with a moth and it's symbolism? Well some folk believe butterflies show when one passes or the wind blows and you just that feeling. Well.. I believe the Gods blessed me with the presence of my baby through the fatter fluffier version of a butterfly. It would suit him better anyways.
Alright enough with my tear jerking tale if anyone reads my post. I'll have another symbolism here in a few minutes.
No comments:
Post a Comment